Devastation, Mitigation, Migration, Stabilization and 20 Crypto Jokes

Another adventurous crypto week. Did you have fun? BTC once again saw heavy selling on Monday, after the news that the Fed was taking emergency measures to mitigate the financial devastation, Coin Metrics found that it’s the short-term traders again who have been driving the most recent sell-off, and interest in Bitcoin futures dropped amid discussions of financial market closure. But then, Bitcoin rallied on Thursday, while Chainalysis says that BTC oversupply issue is solved and the price gained some stability; also, a relief is coming to miners too as mining difculty is set to drop. Bitfinex onboarded a USD 280 million crypto hedge fund Fulgur Alpha, and BitMEX explained the recent DDoS attacks to the doubting customers and refunds BTC 40. Meanwhile, Steem is moving to Hive network.

We’ve got more: Hdac launched the first dapp on its blockchain network, Toyota and BUIDL completed testing a new personal ID and vehicle ID platform, Westworld developed a blockchain angle for its new season, American users of Opera are now able to use their debit cards or Apple Pay to buy BTC and ETH, and the Chinese province of Yunnan opened a new blockchain center. While Nouriel Roubini proposed a tokenization-sounding solution to the pandemic-caused financial crisis involving commodifying toilet paper, Mike Novogratz said that BTC will need to rebuild confidence post-crash. We also looked into whether South Korea is teaching kids about crypto via the Yeep platform, co-developed by the Ministry of Education, and if the Russian central bank could try to ban BTC mining. Meanwhile, 18 more EthCC attendees tested positive for coronavirus, but Vitalik Buterin confirmed he had no symptoms.

And now, time for some laughs and giggles and chuckles and chortles…you get it.

As is not a tradition, let’s first see what crypto twitter is up to before we do anything else.

"The world economy is collapsing, an epidemic is slowly killing us and we nearly experienced a war"


Crypto Twitter:

I bet retail will fomo buy this dip

— TEDDY (₿) (@TeddyCleps) March 8, 2020


Bitcoin lately.

— Dennis Parker⚡️ (@Xentagz) March 19, 2020


Millennials’ present is no walk in the park, but the future is apparently quite green.

Headline in 5 years: “See how this Millennial turned their $1,000 stimulus check into $19.5M by doing this one thing.”

— Douglas A. Boneparth (@dougboneparth) March 18, 2020


Wait, let me check that with the past.

Mistakes were made that year from r/Bitcoin


This throwback bitcoin is more tragic for some than the others.

2 years later

— CryptoChimp (@Cryptanzee) March 15, 2020


Can we have more?

all of us from r/Bitcoin


Social distancing.

How it feels to visit coinmarketcap once a day:

— light (@LightCrypto) March 10, 2020


Haven’t developed an immunity.

Y’all never traded altcoins and it shows.

— Nobody Gooutside Jones (@Nobodyjones221) March 9, 2020


You can’t be immune to this.


— Charles (@CryptoCharles__)


I wonder how he’s handling it now that BTC is at USD 5K. The man must be in hell.

How I’m handling $BTC almost below $8k, Dow futures down 1,000, #Oil at $30 and #COVID19 spreading like 🔥

— Tom Shaughnessy🦉 (@Shaughnessy119) March 9, 2020


Here’s one age-old reason against selling crypto.


RippleSoft. For easier, faster, cheaper, and transparent cross-buttocks wiping.

Runs on Ripple from r/CryptoCurrency


However! Just in case you run out of RippleSoft.

Running out of toilet paper? Try your local ATM.

— Daniel Larimer (@bytemaster7) March 16, 2020


One’s got to wonder if there even is such a thing as a bottom. Or is it like the Tooth Fairy, and Santa Clause, and Lambo…


Yeeaaah! Wait, what?

Silicon Valley and crypto may be wrong about COVID-19. Maybe it'll pass and cause limited healthcare & economic disruption

If so, SV and Crypto people will look very dumb.

But joke's on everyone else, because SV & Crypto people are used to looking dumb. We do it for a living.

— Avichal Garg (Electric Capital) ⚡ (@avichal) March 11, 2020



When this sub sees a Bitcoin sticker out in public from r/Bitcoin


She’s confirmed that the Krugman room doesn’t have a fax machine yet.

at @CoinSharesCo, we like to name conference rooms after all the #bitcoin haters

especially proud of the board room

— Meltem Demirors (@Melt_Dem) February 28, 2020


Everybody’s a little bit of the second picture these days. Let that comfort you.


Look, I’d ask Coinbase this very serious question, but they don’t ever reply to my emails (# itspersonal).

My friend just called to ask how to buy Coinbase on Robinhood

— Hailey Lennon (@HaileyLennonBTC) March 17, 2020


For the end, guys, stay healthy, stay home, and enjoy a nice candlelight dinner.


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